1. |
Oh, the Awful Joy
04:45
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well i once argued reason with an angel and i once fell in love with a fading star i traded all my silver moonlight
for the fire of a broken heart
so let the ravens weep let them beg for wine i've heard so much truth i could use a good lie
well i once argued fate with a tear drop
and i once kissed the mouth of a thousand years her eyes shined bluer than the ocean
but i made them blacker than the darkest night oh, the awful joy
of hurting and to hurt
when the love that you built
was both your blessing and curse
there are wild rivers that run through our blood
there are whispers still unsure that sit on our tongues there are heavy afternoons that rest in our lungs there is time to make the same
of what we need and what we want.
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2. |
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teach me the quiet madness of the night
hang stillness from my bones like an ancient star tell me about that silver moon rising
mama, i got so much on my mind
kiss me with the answer of a flower reach me like the gossip of the day touch me with the first chill of autumn mama, i got so much on my mind
catch me like the shadow of a movement
keep me like a stranger's familiar face
confront my heart unto the healing dark of sorrow mama, i got so much on my mind
sober me like sunday confesses secrets know me like tomorrow knows to wait break me like a fever in november
mama, i got so much on my mind
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3. |
Burn Them Blue
04:11
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nothing could weigh this sorrow-
not the ghost of winter with her breath on my window nor the prayer folded over by the hands of a lover oh, wooly night-
you know i am not sleeping
with your wistful feeling sounding fervently
in its wind the hounds of darkness barking
nothing could contain these empty days not the coffin my bed became
or the open space that holds its place on a calendar's ending
i am not here, no, i am of a separate place
where a certain day is made for all things that wait where an ocean sings from the shadow of its grave
of my haunted heart and its plague desires
my silver blood could make the moon catch fire with this midnight parade of sea-sick angels, and this wayward feeling that i call home
nothing can forsake what does not remain
but the lingering loss that claims unconquered days in nostalgia's chained and shackled feeling
the morning crumbles back into its evening dress the town square talks with words unsaid
while the scavenger's bread lays barren beds
for the pigeons keeping
of every woman i've pressed my heart to
she held a touch that i never knew
for with her bright and holy eyes,
she could smoke the streets and burn them blue
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4. |
Words of War
04:59
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words-
how they don't mean what they say and how they say what they mean in the mouth of a moment
and how they say that you'll leave but, babe, you're already gone
in your heart and in your mind
i watched you take
to that shadowy street
time-
how it weighs on our love
how we're young and think it don't exist but it shows in our kiss
where we trade sweat
with a dying a flower
beneath the sword of the sun
we shed our leaves
to the bones of the grass
days-
how they get lost in their lists
of minutes and miles
and how i'm driving their pens sometimes i see you behind the fog of the night's aging scent
where i reach for your mouth
and attempt to remember
your lips
eyes-
yes, the actors of tragedy
they know the script so remarkably
but they didn't write the lines
because i know there's still a part of me
in the ghost of your energy
our passion that sits so quietly
for the breath which first exalted our lungs
soft
is the name of your skin
beneath the callous it's in
that i made in a war
but now that the smoke has cleared and so the ringing in our ears,
may i uncover your hands
that have been pulling the trigger for years
cause i won't, no,
i won't let you down.
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5. |
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your moon-splashed visions
your meteor mind
the desolate freedom of your skeleton sky has fooled your heart into believing lies that stitched your face
to that social disguise of claims
could it be now, mama, all that we have loved we've loved in vain?
your truth, your forbidden fruit,
takes shape now in the sound of my name perhaps it's the vault of my past mistakes the puts the fault on what you say
but we must watch now how we talk for the words we choose, honey, they cannot return to the mouths from which they came
your grieving black-out wish
for a better life than i can give
has tricked your eyes into seeing this from the hype of your emotions
but not how it actually is
could it be now, mama, all that we have tried we tried in vain?
our frail, unrepenting veil of matchsticks that cannot lift a single flame
perhaps it's the fate of the feather or stone that better decides the heavier fall
but we both know it won't be long
before the walls we built have returned to dust and unto the ground
from where they came
your dark-drenched toxic
mouth of flowers
has shed the words
that bloomed these hours
and covered your ears from hearing any sound that might reveal confrontation with yourself
could it be now, mama, all that we have worked for we worked in vain?
if the end was to be this way
regardless of the wisdom we may have gained perhaps it was meaning we never obtained
that had us become these criminals of shame for wherever we walk, despite time or place, the facts- they still remain the same:
you can hear me rattle
my cuffs and chains
your twisted reasons
your crooked cry
the melting minutes that tell your time
has confused your perception of what is right to the point of refusing
even the best of advice
could it be now, mama, all that we have touched we touched in vain?
our haze of polluted joy that clouds your hope for the day that things might change
perhaps it's the ghost that still remains
of who you were before who you became
that haunts my heart into believing
all that has been lost could come back our way and things could somehow
be the same.
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6. |
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if your heart thinks twice,
then your heart thinks twice
i can love you more than once if your heart thinks twice
and if i'm wrong so you're right, then i'm wrong so you're right well, honey, i'd stay wrong
if my wrong kept you right
and if those tears aren't shy if those tears aren't shy, then let me make them mine if those tears aren't shy
give to me the brightest stars,
but i'd forsake them all
to be for you what i have not
i'll be anything you want
cause i don't care what they might say where we fall short, well,
we'll just claim it my mistake
and when these days are gone when these days are gone
we can hold them in this song when these days are gone
and if the meaning gets lost if the meaning gets lost
we can sing it like it's not
if the meaning gets lost
and if these truths go blind
if these truths go blind
we'll just tell them like they're lies if these truths go blind
give to me your heaviest thoughts, for i'd carry them all
to say for you what they cannot
i'll say anything you want
cause i don't care how long it takes, i'll trap the sun
until time breaks
our chains
so if your heart thinks twice, then your heart thinks twice
i can love you more than once if your heart thinks twice.
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7. |
Taller Than The Sun
04:46
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your hands were born in the moonlight on silver ships and the salt lines
i heard the song of your touch
like a dream of hymnals sent by the sea the gentle rush of your splendor,
you wore the waves on your crowning eyes the brightest light, such an arrant kind
but feeling taller than the sun
our foolish laws demanded night
as we pawned the shapeless tide
until the golden death of dawn
and although i held my tears,
my eyes- they were wrong
i am not as strong as i thought i was
for i understand if i can't be in your heart, but i'd do anything
to just be on your mind
your intent surrendered in confusion
the knocking knees of two broken pasts the future cowered like a motherless-boy assuming it best not to ask
it wandered the city forever
in search of a lover from some other life dressed in white with its motives in tact
but daunted long within your mire, is a place of tangled sighs-
they are mine
where i've wrapped the night
in a twine of your hair
and although i cooled our fire,
it was not without a cost:
that which i once was unaware of,
i now know and feel the loss
for i understand if i can't be in your heart, but i'd do anything
to just be on your mind
my revolving wish to climb
to your sweet and impeccable cry,
has labored me a time-worn heart
now tolling for closed eyes
that we should be redeemed
is a knot i can't untie
oh, how i longed for you a place
in my imaginary life
for i understand if i can't be in your heart
but i'd do anything...
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8. |
Despite What I Do
04:53
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now i don't know when,
but I'm certain it did
that your kiss once held
the white fire of the moon, babe been a long time since
must have been kids
among those nameless nighttimes we never did claim...
now all that i see
is a vague trace of me
and your faceless shadow walking down north street my eyes hung with tears
for the direction you chose well i reached for your heart but all i got, babe,
was a handful of black crows
now i don't want you feeling down, it's just the fact that you're proud
the sky is your ground and I'm falling despite what i do
you've got the freedom to choose but baby, please
i just want you
to want me
now i don't know why,
but I'm certain it's right
that your heart as turned away from me to the thought of a different life
well i used to try and solve
the reasons for it all
but there's no logical pattern
within your actions or your thoughts
now all that i see
is a vague, distant dream flashing fast across our eyes it was the future we believed but you act just like fear you're indecisively cold
well i reached for your heart but all i got, babe,
was a handful of black crows
now i don't want you feeling down
but it's like our trouble was bound
to this inevitable weight that we're lifting will you still demand proof
even if these mountains are moved? baby, please,
i just want you
will you still toss the spoon
expecting all but the truth?
baby, please,
i just want you
despite what i do,
you've got the freedom to choose
but baby, please,
i just want you
to want me
now i don't want you feeling down there's just this terrible sound:
the faint recollection of your whisper that once was so young
inside the youth of our touch
but now it fades into a sorrowing echo.
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9. |
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below an idle clock that bides no time,
a thought got trapped in your heavy sigh- you asked how long it's been
i've had these troubles on my mind
and like a cob web-cornered kitchen broom beside the dusty drawer of silver spoons, with half a cup of coffee
and ashes on my leather boots,
i said:
"You know, it's been such a long time..."
and don't you know it's been such a long time
under the tattered night that hears no cry we more or less could brush aside,
you asked how long it's been
i've had that woman on my mind
and like a passing ghost in early June under the sacred milk of mother moon, with half a cup of coffee
and ashes on my leather boots,
i sad:
"You know, it's been such a long time..."
and don't you know it's been such a long time.
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10. |
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i wish it wasn't so,
but you know how it goes-
what's done is done
when i loved you i was young
when i loved you i was young
but the sun dried up the river
with all my little lies
with all your little lies
but they say sorrow
is bound to happen to us all
sometime
now i'm always in love
with another place or time
so I've been trying to keep up
with an imaginary life
my imaginary life
with all the sympathy i borrow
for my hat and rabbit show
but knowledge ain't a fair trade-
you always think you'll be happier
with the more that you know
you're not sure where you're going
but you know where you've been
had a handful of decisions
closed your eyes and made a wish
yeah which one is it?
but luck is just what it is-
it doesn't know what you've been given
or what you'll get
it found you crying in the sunlight
it found you dancing by the end
of the day
but i bought a pair of gloves
and my coat's all buttoned up
so when the winter comes to snow
on everything we love
and everything we want
i'll sing to you this longing
through the telephone
we"ll think of something warmer
and we'll imagine it
until we feel it in our bones
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Austin Wolfe Canton, Ohio
Austin Wolfe is a singer/songwriter from Canton, OH.
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